How to deal with a selfish man in a relationship

How to deal with a selfish man in a relationship

Identify the signs of a selfish man

Selfishness in a man can manifest itself in many ways. He may be overbearing and demanding, always putting his own needs first. He may be inconsiderate, never bothering to ask how you are or what you want. He may be manipulative, constantly looking for ways to get his way. Or he may never be happy, always complaining and finding fault with everything.

Fortunately, some telltale signs can help you identify a selfish man before you get too involved with him. If you see any of the following red flags, it’s time to move on:

  1. He’s always talking about himself.
  2. He interrupts you when you’re talking.
  3. He doesn’t ask you about your day or shows any interest in your life.
  4. He expects you always to be available when he wants to see or talk to you.
  5. He doesn’t bother to listen when you’re talking to him.
  6. He isn’t considerate of your feelings or needs.
  7. He always expects you to do things his way without considering your opinion or wishes.
  8. He makes decisions without consulting you or considering your input. He dismisses your concerns and tells you not to worry about important things. He exhibits controlling behavior, telling you what to do, where to go, what to wear, etc. If you see any of these red flags, it’s time to move on. A relationship with a selfish man will never be healthy or happy, so it’s best to walk away before things get too complicated.
  9. Determine the root cause of his selfishness
  10. When you’re in a relationship with a selfish man, it can feel like you’re always the one giving, and he’s always the one taking. You may feel resentful, unappreciated, and even humiliated by his behavior. But before you can deal with his selfishness, you need to understand what’s driving it.

There are several possible reasons why your man is being selfish. It could be that he’s used to getting his way and hasn’t learned how to compromise. Or it could be that he’s going through a tough time in his life and is feeling insecure or overwhelmed, which causes him to act out in a self-centered way. In some cases, selfishness may be a symptom of a deeper issue, such as narcissism or insecurity.

Once you’ve determined the root cause of his selfishness, you can start to figure out how to deal with it. If his selfishness comes from a place of insecurity, try to be patient and understanding. If he’s used to getting his way, you may need to set some boundaries and teach him how to compromise. And if his selfishness is due to a deeper issue like narcissism, you may need to seek professional help to protect yourself from emotional damage.

Talk to him about your concerns

Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and consideration, so addressing your concerns with him is important. You may feel overlooked and unimportant if you’re in a relationship with a self-centered man. While it’s normal for your partner to have some selfish tendencies sometimes, it’s not OK if he regularly puts himself first and doesn’t consider your needs.

Selfishness in a relationship can manifest itself in different ways. Maybe he ignores your needs and only does things that benefit him. Or, he might be verbally or emotionally abusive, always putting you down or making you feel bad about yourself. Regardless of how it manifests, selfishness is destructive to a relationship, and it’s important to talk to your partner about your concerns.

If you’re unsure how to bring up the topic, try saying something like, “I feel like I’m always last on your list of priorities. I need you to start considering my needs more.” Or say, “I don’t feel like I can count on you to be there for me when I need you. I need you to start being more supportive.” If he gets defensive or refuses to listen to your concerns, that’s a red flag that he’s not interested in changing his behavior. In that case, you may need to reconsider whether this is a healthy relationship for you.

Establish boundaries with him

To stay in the relationship, you must establish boundaries with him. He needs to know that you will not tolerate his selfish behavior. Make it clear to him that you’re not going to put up with him putting his own needs ahead of yours. Set a boundary with him and stick to it. If he doesn’t respect your boundary, he’s not worth your time and energy.

Seek professional help if necessary

Suppose your partner is unwilling to change after you talk to him about how his behavior impacts you. In that case, you may need professional help to protect yourself and your relationship. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. If you need support but are not in danger, consider calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).