The effects of parental divorce on children in their 20s
Parental divorce can affect children, especially those in their 20s. Trusting people, making decisions, and feeling secure in relationships can make it difficult. It can also lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. If you’re in your 20s and your parents have divorced, it’s important to seek support and resources to help you cope.
The psychological effects
Your parent’s divorce can have a major psychological effect on you, even in your 20s. It can be difficult to deal with the news and the changes that come with it, and you may feel isolated, confused, and even angry.
It’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Many people go through their parents’ divorce, and support groups and counseling are available to help them through this tough time. Here are some tips for dealing with the psychological effects of parental divorce:
-Talk to someone who can understand what you’re going through. This could be a friend, family member, therapist, or counselor.
-Identify your feelings and talk about them. Don’t bottle them up inside, as this can lead to depression or anxiety.
-Join a support group for children of divorced parents. This can be a great way to meet other people who understand what you’re going through.
-Talk to your parents about what they’re going through and how it’s affecting you. They may not realize how much their divorce is affecting them emotionally.
- Seek professional help if you can’t cope with the effects of your parent’s divorce. A therapist can help you work through your feelings and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
- The social effects
- The social effects of parental divorce on children in their 20s can be significant. “There is a tendency for people who have experienced parental divorce to be less trusting of intimate relationships and to be more tentative about committing to marriage themselves,” says Amir Levine, MD, author of Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love.
There can also be self-esteem issues. “Children of divorced parents often have a harder time believing in themselves,” says Dr. Levine. “They tend to doubt their ability to have a happy and lasting relationship.”
And then, the logistical challenges come with having divorced parents. “If your parents are divorced, you may feel like you’re being pulled in two different directions,” says Jennifer Kogan, LCSW, a psychotherapist in Washington, D.C., who specializes in working with young adults. “You may feel loyal to one parent and resentful of the other, or you may find yourself caught in the middle of their conflict.”
The economic effects
In their 20s, many young adults still deal with the economic fallout of their parent’s divorce. According to a Pew Research Center analysis of U.S. Census data, young adults whose parents divorced in their teens or 20s are more likely to have lower incomes and fewer assets than those whose parents remained married.
In addition, young adults from divorced families are more likely to live in poverty than those from married families. In 2016, 12% of young adults ages 25 to 34 whose parents had divorced when they were in their teens or 20s were living in poverty, compared with 7% of those whose parents remained married.
The economic effects of parental divorce can last well into adulthood. Young adults who grew up in divorced families are likelier than those from intact families to report being achievement-oriented and less likely to say that leading a comfortable life is important. They are also more likely than their peers from intact families to say that financial stability is important to them but that it is difficult to achieve.
How to deal with the effects of parental divorce in your 20s
As a child of divorced parents, you might think you’re immune to the effects of divorce. But the truth is, even if your parents divorced when you were a kid, you could still feel the ripple effects of their split long into adulthood. Here are some tips on how to deal with the effects of parental divorce in your 20s.
The psychological effects
It is not uncommon for people in their twenties to still struggle with the psychological effects of their parent’s divorce. In this situation, you may feel stuck between childhood and adulthood, still dealing with the fallout from your parents’ break-up while trying to establish independence. Here are some tips for coping with the psychological effects of parental divorce in your twenties:
- Acknowledge your feelings. Feeling angry, hurt, and confused is normal after your parent’s divorce. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the family you once had. Don’t try to bottle up your emotions or pretend everything is okay when it’s not.
- Talk about what happened. If you’re struggling to deal with your emotions, talking to someone who can offer impartial support can be helpful. This could be a therapist, counselor, or close friend. Talking about what happened will help you make sense of it and move on.
- Don’t take sides. It can be tempting to choose one parent over the other after divorce, but try to resist this urge. Taking sides will only make things more difficult for you emotionally. Accept that both of your parents are imperfect humans and have some responsibility for what happened.
- Don’t blame yourself. It’s common for people in your situation to blame themselves for their parent’s divorce, but it’s important to realize it wasn’t your fault. You can’t control what other people do, so don’t beat yourself up over something that wasn’t within your power to change.
- Find healthy ways to cope. Rather than numbing your pain with alcohol or drugs, find healthier ways to cope with your emotions, such as exercise, journaling, or spending time outdoors in nature.
- The social effects
It’s estimated that around 40% of marriages in the United States end in divorce, and for first marriages, the divorce rate is even higher. That means there is a good chance that you know someone affected by parental divorce. And if you’re in your 20s, there’s a chance that you are dealing with the effects of parental divorce.
The social effects of parental divorce can be significant. Studies have shown that children of divorced parents are more likely to experience social problems such as lower grades in school, lower self-esteem, and more social anxiety. They are also more likely to get divorced themselves when they grow up.
If you’re in your 20s and dealing with the effects of parental divorce, there are some things you can do to try to mitigate the effects. Here are some tips:
- Don’t internalize the blame: It’s common for children of divorced parents to blame themselves for the divorce. But it’s important to remember that it’s not your fault and that your parents’ decision to divorce is not a reflection on you.
- Seek professional help if needed: If you’re struggling to deal with the effects of parental divorce, seek professional help from a therapist or counselor. This can be an extremely important step in helping you cope and recover.
- Lean on your support system: Whether it’s friends, family, or others who have been through similar experiences, leaning on your support system can be crucial. These people can provide much-needed love and understanding.
- Take care of yourself: Be sure to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally during this difficult time. This means eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep, and doing things that make you happy.
- The economic effects
- Divorce’s most obvious economic effect is the division of the family’s assets. This can leave both parents and children in a difficult financial situation. Child support payments can help to offset the costs of raising a child, but they may not be enough to cover all expenses. In addition, divorced parents may have to pay for two separate households. This can be a financial strain on both parents and children.
Another economic effect of divorce is the loss of income. In many families, both parents work to support the family. When a family gets divorced, one parent may have to drop out of the workforce to care for the children. This can lead to a significant loss of income for the family.
Finally, divorce can affect your ability to get financial aid for college. If your parents are divorced, you may not be eligible for certain types of financial aid. This can make it more difficult to pay for college.