What is limerence?
Limerence is a state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person and typically includes obsessive thoughts and fantasies and a desire to form or maintain a relationship with the object of your attraction.
If you are limerent, you may find yourself:
-Thinking about the person you are attracted to all the time
-Fixating on their positive qualities and downplaying any negative qualities
- I want to spend all my time with them or be around them as much as possible.
- -check social media frequently in hopes of seeing updates about them or pictures of them.
- Daydreaming about what it would be like to be in a relationship with them.
- I feel elated when I interact with them or receive attention from them.
- Feeling anxious or depressed when they are not around or when you think they might be interested in someone else.
- The science of limerence.
- Limerence is a state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person and is typically accompanied by obsessive thoughts and fantasies. Limerent people often feel a strong sense of emotional commitment to the object of their affection, even if they have only known them for a short time.
- The psychology of limerence.
- Limerence is a state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person and is typically associated with strong feelings of love, admiration, and hope. Individuals in a limerence state often obsess over their love interests, constantly thinking about them and fantasizing about a future together. While limerence can lead to positive outcomes such as deeper relationships and marriage, it can also have negative consequences such as anxiety, distraction, and depression.
There are several theories about what causes limerence, but the most prominent one is that it results from an evolutionary process designed to encourage individuals to mate. According to this theory, individuals who feel limerent towards another person are more likely to take risks (such as leaving their current partner) to pursue a relationship with the object of their desire. This increased likelihood of taking risks may have helped our ancestors propagate their genes, but it can also lead to heartache in the modern world.
If you’re struggling with limerence, there are some things you can do to try and move on. First, it’s important to understand that you are not alone—limerence is a very common experience. Second, try to actively focus on other aspects of your life (such as work or hobbies) that make you happy. Finally, if you’re still thinking about the object of your limerence, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor who can help you manage your feelings.
The biology of limerence
Limerence is a state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person and is typically associated with strong feelings of jealousy, anxiety, and obsessiveness.
While the concept of limerence has been around for centuries, it was only formally recognized as a psychological phenomenon in the 1970s by psychologist Dorothy Tennov.
Limerence is thought to be driven by a series of biochemical reactions in the brain similar to those experienced during infatuation or drug addiction.
These reactions are triggered by cues such as physical proximity to the object of limerence, thoughts about the person, and any interaction with them.
Over time, if the limerent object does not reciprocate the feelings, limerence can become problematic and lead to issues such as anxiety, depression, and stalking.
How to get over limerence
Limerence is a state of mind often characterized by obsessive thoughts and feelings for another person. These feelings can be overwhelming and all-consuming, making it difficult to think about anything else. If you’re struggling with limerence, there are a few things you can do to try and get over it.
Understand what you’re feeling
Limerence is a state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person and typically includes obsessive thoughts and fantasies and a desire to form or maintain a relationship with the object of your attraction. If you’re limerent, you may feel in love, even if you haven’t developed a meaningful relationship with the person you’re attracted to.
Limerence is not the same as love, although it can lead to love. Love is a choice that includes feelings of attachment, trust, and caring. Limerence, on the other hand, is infatuation or obsession with another person that feels beyond your control.
If you think you might be limerent, it’s important to understand what you’re feeling and why. Once you know more about limerence, you can start to take steps to get over it.
Don’t try to fight it
Limerence is an involuntary state of mind which results from a romantic or sexual attraction to another person and is typically accompanied by strong feelings of anxiety, fear, and uncertainty. These intense emotions can be very hard to deal with and can often lead people to try and fight their limerence in an attempt to get rid of it. However, research has shown that trying to fight limerence is often ineffective and can worsen the experience.
Give yourself time
Limerence is a powerful emotion that can be hard to shake. If you’re struggling to get over the limerence, it’s important to give yourself time. The intensity of limerence can make it feel like you’re in love, but limerence is not the same as love. Limerence is based on an idealized version of the other person that may or may not is real. Love is built on trust, commitment, and mutual respect.
If you obsessively think about the object of your limerence, it might be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor who can help you manage your feelings. In the meantime, here are some tips that might help you get over limerence:
- Acknowledge that limerence is normal and that you’re not alone in feeling this way.
- Be honest with yourself about what you’re feeling and why.
- Don’t try to fight your feelings – instead, focus on accepting them.
- Please recognize that the object of your limerence is not perfect and that they have flaws as everyone else does.
- Set realistic expectations for your relationship with the object of your limerence.
- Talk to someone who will understand and can offer impartial advice, such as a therapist or counselor.
- Seek out activities and hobbies that make you feel good and help take your mind off thoughts of the object of your limerence.
- Taking these steps won’t guarantee you’ll get over the limerence overnight. Still, they can help you start to move on from this intense infatuation so that you can focus on finding a healthy and lasting love relationship.
Seek professional help
If you cannot get over limerence alone, it might be helpful to seek professional help. A therapist can help you understand the condition and work on coping mechanisms.