Dealing with an alcoholic spouse
If you’re married to an alcoholic, you know how difficult it can be to deal with the person you love when they’re struggling with alcoholism. You may feel like you’re walking on eggshells, never knowing what mood your spouse will be in from one day to the next. You may feel like you’re the only one who can see how much alcohol affects your spouse and marriage.
Understand that you cannot change your spouse
Alcoholism is a disease that your spouse will have to deal with for the rest of their life. Just as you cannot change someone with diabetes or cancer, you cannot change an alcoholic. It is impossible to make an alcoholic stop drinking through willpower alone or by using ultimatums, threats, bribes, or guilt. These methods might temporarily stop drinking but will not solve the underlying problem. They usually make it worse.
Set boundaries with your spouse
If you have an alcoholic spouse, it is important to set boundaries to protect yourself and your children. You may have already tried to talk to your spouse about their drinking, but they may not be ready to hear it or be unwilling to change.
It is important to remember that you cannot control or change your spouse’s behavior, but you can control how you react to it. Setting boundaries can help you protect yourself and your children from the harmful effects of alcoholism.
There are many different types of boundaries you can set, but some examples include the following:
-Setting a limit on how much alcohol your spouse can drink in your presence
-Deciding not to socialize with your spouse when they have been drinking
-Refusing to enable your spouse’s drinking by buying them alcohol or covering up for them
-Telling your spouse that their drinking is negatively impacting our relationship and our family and that something needs to change
-Seeking counseling or therapy for yourself or your family
Seek professional help
If you are struggling to deal with an alcoholic spouse, it is important to seek professional help. Many resources are available to help you and your family cope with this difficult situation. Alcoholism is a serious disease that can profoundly impact your life. It is important to seek help from a qualified professional who can help you understand the disease and its effects on your loved ones.
Living with an alcoholic spouse
It’s never easy to live with an alcoholic spouse. You never know what will happen next, and it’s always a guessing game. You have to be careful of what you say and do because anything could set them off. It’s a constant battle to keep things sane and normal. But it’s not impossible. Here are some tips on how to handle an alcoholic spouse.
Create a support system
If you are living with an alcoholic spouse, it is important to create a support system to help you cope with the situation. Talk to close friends or family members who can provide emotional support. You may also consider joining a support group for people in similar situations.
It is also important to take care of yourself emotionally and physically. Eating a healthy diet and regular exercise will help you deal with stress. Schedule time for activities that make you happy and help you relax.
If you are having difficulty dealing with your spouse’s alcoholism, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. A counselor or therapist can assist you in dealing with the situation and provide additional support.
Take care of yourself
If you’re living with an alcoholic spouse, taking care of yourself is important. Here are some tips:
- Set boundaries. You don’t have to enable your spouse’s alcoholism by covering for them or making excuses. Let them know what behaviors are unacceptable and stick to those boundaries.
- Take care of yourself emotionally and physically. Living with an alcoholic can be stressful, so make sure to take care of yourself. Eat healthy foods, exercise, and get enough sleep. Consider talking to a therapist about how you’re feeling.
- Create a support system. Lean on friends and family members for emotional support. It can also be helpful to join a support group for people in your situation.
- Seek professional help if needed. If you’re struggling to cope with your spouse’s alcoholism, don’t hesitate to contact a professional for help.
- Detach with love
- The term “detachment” is often misunderstood. When you detach from an alcoholic, you are not abandoning them. You are simply taking care of yourself because you can’t change or control the other person.
There are two types of detachment – emotional and physical. Emotional detachment means that you no longer allow the alcoholic’s behaviors to affect you on an emotional level. You no longer feel anger, fear, frustration, or resentment when your spouse drinks. You have to detach with love, which means that you still care about the person, but you can no longer enable their drinking behavior.
Physical detachment means you no longer allow the alcoholic to control your environment. This may mean setting up boundaries, such as not allowing the alcoholic to drink in your presence or leaving the house when they start drinking. It may also mean removing alcohol from your home, so it’s not easily accessible.
Detachment is not easy, but it is necessary if you want to protect yourself from the negative effects of living with an alcoholic spouse.