No one likes being criticized by their boss, friends, or loved ones. But when the person criticizing is our husband, it can feel especially hurtful. After all, we want our husbands to be our biggest supporters—not our harshest critics.
If you’re struggling to deal with criticism from your husband, here are four tips to help you handle it productively.
- Don’t take it personally.
- One of the most important things to remember when your husband criticizes you is that his words are not necessarily a reflection of how he feels about you as a person. In many cases, he may simply be expressing his opinion on a particular situation or behavior.
It can be easy to take his criticisms personally, but try to resist this urge. Instead, remind yourself that his words do not reflect your worth as a person. This will help you to respond to his criticism in a more level-headed way.
- Talk about it calmly and openly.
- Once you’ve taken a few minutes to calm down, it’s time to talk to your husband about why his criticisms are hurtful. This conversation will likely be easier if you approach it calmly and rationally. Avoid getting defensive or attacking him in return—this will only worsen the situation.
Instead, explain calmly and openly why his words are hurtful and why you’d appreciate it if he refrained from Criticizing you in the future. This conversation may not be easy, but it’s important to have if you want to improve how your husband communicates with you.
- Don’t bottle up your feelings.
- Another important thing to remember when dealing with criticism from your husband is that bottling up your feelings is never a good idea—it will only worsen things in the long run. Don’t hesitate to express these emotions healthily if you’re feeling hurt or frustrated by his comments. Whether you need to cry it out, journal about it, or talk to a friend about what’s happening, make sure you find an outlet for your feelings, so they don’t continue to build up inside you.
4 . Seek marriage counseling if necessary If you’ve tried everything and nothing seems to be improving the situation, it may be time to seek professional help from a marriage counselor or therapist. These professionals can help you and your husband communicate more effectively and resolve any underlying issues contributing to the problem. If necessary, don’t hesitate to reach out for help—it could be exactly what you need
Don’t take it personally
It’s hard not to take things personally when your husband constantly criticizes you. But remember that his criticism is not about you as a person; it’s about his insecurity and needs to feel in control. If you can keep that in mind, it will be easier to respond in a way that doesn’t worsen the situation.
Here are some tips for how to handle criticism from your husband:
- Don’t take it personally. As we said, his criticism is not really about you.
- Try to see his side. He may feel insecure or threatened and lash out as a result.
- Respond calmly and assertively. It’s important not to get defensive or start arguing. Instead, try to stay calm and explain what you’re feeling clearly and concisely.
- Avoid getting into power struggles. If he starts getting argumentative, walk away or end the conversation. Again, this will only make the situation worse.
- Set boundaries with him. This may mean setting limits on how much criticism you’re willing to take or telling him outright that his behavior is unacceptable.
- Seek professional help if necessary. If the situation is really bad or you can’t seem to handle it on your own, don’t hesitate to seek professional help from a counselor or therapist.
- Talk about it
If you and your husband are having difficulty communicating, discussing the issue with a counselor or therapist may be helpful. A third party can offer impartial advice and help you find ways to improve your communication.
Seek help from a therapist
It can be difficult to deal with criticism from your husband, especially if it feels like he’s constantly picking on you. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or like you can’t handle the criticism on your own, it may be helpful to seek out professional help. A therapist can provide tools and support to help you deal with your husband’s criticisms more healthily and constructively.
In conclusion, it is important to remember that your husband is likely your biggest supporter. If he is critical of you, it is likely because he wants you to succeed. Take his criticism constructively and use it to improve your relationship and yourself.