How to handle family conflict biblically

How to handle family conflict biblically

There will be conflict in family relationships. It is inevitable. The question is not whether a conflict will arise but how we will deal with it when it does.

The Bible gives us principles for dealing with conflict in a way that honors God and brings about reconciliation and healing. Although there is no “right” way to handle every situation, these biblical principles can help us know how to respond in a way that pleases God.

What the Bible says about handling conflict

The Bible offers many verses and examples of how to handle conflict. Whether the conflict is with a spouse, child, friend, or another family member, the Bible guides how to deal with the situation.

Matthew 5:9

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” – Matthew 5:9

This verse from the Bible is a powerful reminder that we are called to be peacemakers in our families and the world. When conflict arises, we are responsible for handling it in a way that brings reconciliation and healing. Often, this means making sacrifices and putting aside our own needs for the sake of others. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.

Ephesians 4:2-3

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Philippians 2:3-4

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his interests but also to the interests of others.

Steps for handling conflict biblically

The first step in handling conflict biblically is to pray. Prayer is not a magic formula that will automatically fix the problem, but it is a crucial step. Prayer will help you to keep a clear head and to speak and act in love. It is also a way of entrusting the situation to God and asking for his wisdom.

Here are some suggestions for what you can pray for:

-Wisdom is how to handle the conflict

-The right words to say

-Strength to remain calm and extend grace

-Healing for any hurt that has been caused

-Restoration of relationships

Seek wise counsel

It cannot be easy to see a way out when you’re in a conflict. But there is hope! The Bible gives us clear instructions on handling conflict in a way that honors God and brings about resolution.

One important step is to seek wise counsel. This means talking to people who can offer impartial, Biblically-based advice. These people can help you see the situation differently and offer wise counsel on how to proceed.

Some things to keep in mind when seeking wise counsel:

  • Make sure the person you’re talking to is objective and has no personal stake in the outcome of the conflict.
  • Ask questions and listen to the answers. Don’t just go through the motions; be sincere in your desire to understand.
  • Be open to what they say, even if it’s not what you want to hear. Remember, these people are trying to help you, not make things worse.
  • Take their advice into prayerful consideration. Ask God for wisdom as you decide how to resolve the conflict.
  • Confront in love
  • The first step in handling conflict biblically is confronting the person you are in conflict with. This step is difficult, but it is important. You may feel disloyal to the other person by doing this, but it is an act of love. It shows that you are willing to face and work through the issue.

The second step is to listen to the other person’s side of the story. This can be difficult, especially if you are sure you are right and the other person is wrong. But it is important to hear what they have to say.

The third step is to offer forgiveness. This is not always easy, but it is an important part of resolving conflict. It shows that you are willing to let go of your anger and move on.

The fourth step is to reconcile with the other person. This means that you make up and agree to start fresh. It may take some time, but it will be worth it in the end.


It is natural to want revenge or for the pain to disappear after being hurt. However, holding onto anger and resentment will only make the situation worse. If you want to handle conflict Biblically, forgiveness must be part of the equation.

The first step is to realize that forgiveness is not a feeling but a decision. You may never “feel” like forgiving someone, but that does not mean you should not do it. Forgiveness is an act of the will, not emotions.

Second, you need to understand that unforgiveness is a sin. When we refuse to forgive others, we are breaking one of God’s commandments (Matthew 6:15). Not only that, but unforgiveness will hinder our relationship with God (Mark 11:25-26).

The third step is recognizing that we need God’s help to forgive. We cannot do it on our own. If we could, we would have already forgiven those who have hurt us. But thankfully, we serve a God who is “rich in mercy” (Ephesians 2:4), and He can give us the strength to forgive even when it seems impossible.

Fourth, we need to pray for the person who hurt us. This may not be easy, but it is important. Praying for someone helps us see them from God’s perspective and begin to feel compassion for them instead of hatred.

Finally, we need to release the person who hurt us into God’s hands and let go of our anger and resentment. This does not mean that what they did was okay; it just means that we choose not to let their wrongdoing control our lives any longer. We are giving up our “right” to revenge and trusting God to deal with them in His way and in His own time (Romans 12:19).

Seek restoration

One of the main goals of conflict resolution is to seek restoration. This means that the focus is on repairing the relationship that the conflict has damaged. To do this, it is important first to acknowledge that there is a problem and that something needs to be done to fix it. After the problem has been acknowledged, it is important to try to understand what caused the conflict in the first place. Once the root cause of the conflict has been identified, it is much easier to find a solution that will be acceptable to both parties. It is also important to remember that forgiveness is essential to restoration. If one party is unwilling to forgive, it is unlikely that the relationship will be able to be repaired.


We all experience conflict in our families at one time or another. It’s important to know how to deal with family conflict in a way that honors God and protects our relationships.

The Bible has a lot to say about dealing with conflict. In Matthew 5:9, Jesus says, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” Peacemaking is an important part of being a follower of Christ.

When we biblically handle conflict, we can bring glory to God and help our relationships thrive. Here are four biblical principles for dealing with family conflict:

  1. Seek to understand before seeking to be understood.
  2. Speak the truth in love.
  3. Extend grace to others.
  4. Pray for wisdom and guidance.