How to stop lashing out

How to stop lashing out

It’s normal to feel angry sometimes. But if you lash out because of your anger, it can damage your relationships, work performance, and physical health. Learning to control your anger can help you feel better and make better decisions.

There are three main types of lashing out: verbal, physical, and emotional. Verbal lashing out includes saying hurtful things or swearing. Physical lashing out includes hitting, pushing, or throwing things. Emotional lashing out includes giving silent treatment, sulking, or betraying someone’s trust.

Lashing out signifies that you’re not coping well with your anger. Talk to a therapist or counselor if you’re unsure how to cope with your anger healthily. They can help you determine the root cause of your destructive behaviors and give you the tools to change them.

The first step: get mad

The first step: get mad

I’m not suggesting that you go around picking fights or being deliberately argumentative. But getting mad can be a healthy way to release pent-up frustrations, and it can also be a way to get in touch with your wants and needs. When you’re used to bury your anger, it can be scary to let it out. But learning how to express anger constructively is an important life skill. Here are some tips for getting started:

  1. Find a safe place to let loose. If you’re worried about losing control, try punching a pillow, yelling into an empty room, or writing out your anger in a journal.
  2. Identify the source of your anger. Once you know what (or who) is making you angry, you can start to figure out how to deal with the situation constructively.
  3. Positively express your anger. Once you’ve identified the source of your anger, try to express it positively — assertively, but not aggressively. This means being direct and honest about your feelings without resorting to name-calling or put-downs.

4., Try to problem-solve the situation that’s making you angry. If you can do something to improve the situation, take action! If not, try to let go of your anger and move on.

The second step: understand why you’re mad

We often lash out in anger because we feel like we’re not being heard or we’re not being respected. Other times, we may be angry because we feel like we’re not in control of a situation. When angry, it’s important to understand why you feel that way.

Take a step back and ask yourself why you’re feeling anger in the first place. Once you understand the root cause of your anger, you can start to address it more constructively.

The third step: take a step back

When you feel like you’re about to lash out, it’s important to take a step back – literally and figuratively. If you can, remove yourself from the situation entirely. This will help you to take a few deep breaths and calm down. It’s also a good idea to avoid further communication until you’ve had a chance to cool off.

Once you’ve taken a step back, it’s important to reflect on what triggered your reaction in the first place. Was it something that was said or done? Or is something else going on in your life that’s causing stress? Once you’ve identified the trigger, devise a constructive way to deal with it. For example, if you lash out when your partner is overwhelming you with demands, try communicating your needs proactively instead of waiting until you’re already overwhelmed.

Find that you’re lashing out regularly. It might be a good idea to see a therapist or counselor who can help you identify any underlying issues contributing to your anger.

The fourth step: find a positive outlet for your anger

Finding a positive outlet for that energy is important when you’re angry. Otherwise, you might end up lashing out in a way you regret.

There are lots of different ways to release anger positively. Some people might choose to exercise, while others might prefer to journal or play an instrument. Experiment and see what works for you.

The important thing is that you find a way to express your anger that doesn’t hurt yourself or anyone else. Once you have a positive outlet for your anger, you’ll be able to deal with it much more healthier.

The fifth step: apologies

Apologize to the person you’ve hurt. Acknowledge the pain you caused and express remorse. Try to avoid using the word “but.” For example, “I’m sorry for what I said, I was really angry, and it wasn’t fair to take it out on you.”


Thank you for taking the time to read this article. We hope it has helped give you insight into how to stop lashing out. Remember that it is important to be patient with yourself and to seek professional help if needed.