The problem with distancers
Distances can be hard to deal with because they never want to be close to you. They always keep their distance and never want to get too close. If you’re always pursuing a distance, you might wonder why they do this and how you can stop it.
They make you feel crazy
Distancers make you feel crazy because they never seem fully present or engaged in the relationship. This can leave you feeling like you are always chasing after them, trying to get their attention and affection. They always seek an excuse to leave or withdraw emotionally when things get challenging.
Distances can also be very frustrating because they always seem to be able to commit to something. They may make plans with you but then back out at the last minute, or they may agree to a date but cancel. This can leave you feeling like you are always waiting on them and that your time is never really a priority for them.
They give you false hope
Distancers often give you false hope by leading you on and then pulling away again. This can leave you confused, frustrated, and constantly chasing after them. If you’re in a relationship at a distance, it’s important to set boundaries and not allow yourself to be treated this way. Pursuing a distance will only lead to more pain and heartache in the long run.
Why distancers do what they do
The article will cover why people who distance themselves do so. It will briefly touch on the different types of distances and why they might distance themselves. After reading this article, you will better understand how to deal with someone who distances themselves.
They’re afraid of intimacy
Distances often fear intimacy, whether on an emotional or physical level. They may have had bad past experiences that led them to believe that being too close to someone will only lead to pain. They may also fear rejection or abandonment if they get too close to someone.
In some cases, distances may also be afraid of commitment. They may want to keep their options open if someone better comes along. Or they may be afraid of the responsibility of being in a committed relationship.
For this reason, distancers usually need some time to warm up to being more intimate with someone. You can help them overcome their fears and get closer to you if you’re patient and understanding.
They’re afraid of being hurt
It’s not that distancers don’t care; they’re afraid of being hurt. They refuse to get emotionally invested in someone until they’re sure that person will stick around. They’ve been disappointed and let down too many times, and they’ve resolved not to let it happen again.
This defense mechanism might work in the short term but usually backfires in the long run. The more someone tries to push them away, the more they pursue. And the more they pursue, the more the distancer backs away – it’s a vicious cycle.
If you find yourself in this situation, you might be tempted to try harder to win their love and affection. But there are better approaches than that. The best thing you can do is give them space and time to come to their conclusions. Pursuing a distance will only push them further away.
How to deal with a distance
Distances are often people who are afraid of commitment or intimacy. They may distance themselves emotionally or physically from you. If you’re pursuing a distance, you may feel like you’re being ignored or that they’re not interested in you. If you’re in a relationship with a distance, you may feel unloved or unimportant. Pursuing a distance can be frustrating, but there are ways to deal with them.
Don’t take it personally
It’s human nature to feel hurt and rejected when we’re being ignored or treated as if we don’t matter, but it’s important to remember that it’s not about you. A distance is likely acting out of fear of getting too close, hurt, and rejected. Their behavior is a defense mechanism that has nothing to do with you.
Don’t try to fix them
It’s not your job to fix them, so don’t try. There are people in this world who are just damaged, and no amount of love or fixing will change that. You can only change yourself and how you deal with them. You can try to set boundaries and stick to them. Don’t take their crap, don’t let them treat you like a doormat, and don’t try to fix them. Just love yourself enough to walk away.
Don’t pursue them
If you are constantly pursuing someone pulling away, it may be time to re-evaluate the situation. It can be not easy to accept, but sometimes the best thing you can do is let them go.
There are a few reasons why someone may pull away from a relationship. They may be dealing with personal issues that they must sort out independently. Or they may not be ready for a committed relationship. If the latter is the case, it’s best to respect their wishes and move on.
Pursuing someone who is pulling away will only push them further away. It’s important to give them the space they need to figure out what they want. Suppose they come back, great. But if not, you know you did everything possible, and it’s time to move on.
How to move on from a distance
The distance can be good or bad in a relationship. If you’re pursuing someone constantly pushing you away, it might be time to move on. Below are some signs that you should stop pursuing a distance.
Give yourself time to grieve
Give yourself time to grieve the loss of the relationship. This may sound counterintuitive, but it is important to allow yourself to feel the pain of the loss. We often try to numb our emotions with alcohol, drugs, work, or sex to avoid feeling the pain. But if you don’t allow yourself to feel the pain, you will never be able to move on. So, give yourself some time to grieve and start taking steps to heal your heart.
One way to start moving on is by doing something nice for yourself. This could be as simple as buying flowers or taking yourself out for ice cream. The important thing is that you are doing something to make yourself feel good. Another way to begin moving on is by spending time with friends and family members who make you feel loved and supported. These people can help you through this difficult time.
In addition, it is important to keep yourself busy so that you don’t have time to dwell on the breakup. Consider taking up a new hobby or joining a club or sports team. Doing things that make you happy will help you forget about your past relationship and start looking forward to your future.
Find someone who wants to be close to you
The best way to stop pursuing distance is to find someone who wants to be close to you. Many resources are available online and in your local community that can help you find someone interested in being close to you. Once you find someone interested in being close to you, it will be much easier to stop chasing after a distance.
Pursue your interests
If you’ve been putting your hobbies and goals on the back burner to focus on your relationship, now is the time to pick them back up again. Focusing on your interests is one way to start distancing yourself from a distance. Spend time with friends and family, take up a new hobby, or read that book you’ve been meaning to start. Anything that makes you happy and takes your mind off your relationship is a good choice.